The Visitor
by Jackalkat
Summary: Dib's cousin Aries Dibhas come for a visit,but can him and our two favorite aliens get along? chappie 3 finally here!
1. Default Chapter

The visitor  
  
Dib, Zim, and Surgi were preparing on going to the airport to pick up Dib's cousin… His name of course was Aries Dib and Dib himself had taught him everything he knew.  
  
They even looked like twins except Aries chose to wear a dull green shirt with a gold semi face on it and a dark gray trench coat…  
  
Zim: Who is this again??  
  
Dib: I already told you… His name is ARIES!!  
  
Surgi: *looking into his gym bag making sure he had plenty of romance novels and art supplies* Aha… So he's a ram? As in a Mountian Goat? I once watched one off those fall of a cliff on the Discovery channel. Heh  
  
Zim: *becoming fully alert at this moment* A GOAT??!! I've read up on these stink creatures and it had better not try to eat my Lab!!  
  
Dib: Damnit Zim! He's a human!! Do not make fun of my cousin, or suffer my wrath!!!  
  
Zim: *perking up his antennae then letting one tilt slightly downward* I knew that.  
  
Dib: Well, we had better go!  
  
Surgi: Wait! I've got to go get my nachos!! *Runs into the kitchen and comes back with his nachos and a thermos* Ok, I'm ready to rock!  
  
Zim: okay then. *climbs into the trash can then Surgi then Dib*  
  
Surgi lands on Zim's lap coincidentally…  
  
Zim: *smiling a devious grin* Did ya miss me already babeh?  
  
Dib: *looking on with authority* Am I going to have to break this up again?  
  
Zim and Surgi exchange glances and run full speed to the voot runner and Surgi quickly presses the open button and gets in then closes the door instantly just as a loud thump is heard and Zim's muffled monotone voice "You shall pay…"  
  
Surgi: *opening the door once more* Oh sorry I didn't know you was there!  
  
Zim: Yes you did!  
  
Dib: *lastly getting in the Voot runner* Zim, you're lucky I installed this Transforming Device! *and presses a button and the Voot Runner transforms into a Black Chrysler Minivan (Just like on Transformers)  
  
Surgi: I get to sit in the back and enjoy x-rated novels! *hops in backseat*  
  
Dib: That boy needs a hobby!  
  
Zim: *smiles* I know. That's why he's got me! *gets in the back with Surgi*  
  
Dib starts up the minivan and it goes through a series of tunnels and then a panel with fake grass on it lifts up and the minivan emits a strong revving sound and becomes airborne landing effectively on a road that eventually leads to the highway…  
  
Soon a small baby blue color car pulls up beside then and Keefe is seen with the window rolled down waving at zim…  
  
Surgi: *getting annoyed* Oh no you don't! *and gets a small tear gas bomb from his satchel and tosses it into the open window causing the driver to swerve from side to side and Keefe to hold his stinging eyes and scream*  
  
Dib: Surgi, are you terrorizing motorists again?  
  
Surgi: *Seeing Dib's stern look in the rear view mirror* Umm, no?  
  
Dib: WRONG ANSWER!! *and presses a button and seat belts wrap around Surgi tightly* You're gonna stay like that until I think of a better way to punish you!  
  
Zim: heheh… you'll have to learn not to test Dib's patience! After all he is crazy!  
  
Dib: Zim, you don't want to get on my bad side again, now do you?  
  
Zim: Hmm… let me think YES!!! *Kicks Dib's seat*  
  
Dib: Quit it alien!! I'm trying to drive!!  
  
2 hours later…  
  
Surgi has finally been released from his seat belt cocoon and is now singing along to Cd playing called Adeema…  
  
Dib: *Watching a Semi pass then hears noise coming from the back seat*  
  
"Zim, stop messing with my pants!! I'm reading!" *Tosses a book at zim which hits him on the head*  
  
"Oh Now you're going to get it!!"  
  
*tackling sounds are heard*  
  
Dib: Don't make me stop this car!!  
  
Suddenly the car stops…  
  
Zim/Surgi: What'd we do?!  
  
Dib: We're at the airport… Hopefully I can find a good parking space!  
  
Zim/Surgi: Oh.  
  
Zim: Hey look!! There's a spot!  
  
A car cuts in front of them and Dib rolls down his window with intentions of cussing them out…  
  
Dib: Jerk!! Why don't you park that ugly piece of aluminum somewhere else, like the local Dump!!  
  
Suddenly Sponge Bob Square Pants appears…  
  
Sponge Bob: Hey guys! Looking for a parking space? You can have mine!! Now where is it? Was it over there? No… Hmm *rubs his chin*  
  
Dib: Well where is it, you freaking piece of crap??  
  
Sponge Bob: Oh Silly me… I SWAM to the airport today!  
  
Dib: Enough of this!! I'm takin you out!! *And peels out turning the van to face Sponge Bob and Dib presses a button on the console marked with a bulls eye then a mini laser cannon appears from above the front bumper and shoots Sponge Bob turning him to ash*  
  
Surgi: heheheh… Idiotic sponge!!  
  
Zim: Mwahahahaha!! Another victory for the Irken Armada!!  
  
Dib: Irken Armada? I thought I made you give up world domination! You better have!  
  
Zim: umm yes I did! *smiles sinisterly*  
  
Soon they are in the Airport…  
  
Surgi and Zim are watching the baggage go on the conveyor belt and Surgi pushes Zim on the conveyor belt laughing evilly watching as Zim goes through on of those chute thingies…  
  
Zim: *Landing in the room where they load the airplanes* Surgi is so going to get it now!! *growls things under his breath as the confused staff watch him leave*  
  
Surgi: *Talking with Dib* Which port do we have to go to find Aries?  
  
Dib: port 52. Hey, Where's Zim?  
  
Surgi: Uhhh he said he had a mighty need to do something…  
  
Dib: but that usually takes hours and he's right beside you!  
  
Zim: Mighty need my Antennae! I'm going to get you back Surgi, When you least suspect it an when I do you're just gonna have to deal with it!  
  
Surgi: Aheheh… We'd better go find this Aries thingy now…  
  
Dib: *getting annoyed* HE'S A HUMAN!!  
  
Soon Port 52 is found…  
  
A figure walks up to them that has black hair with a spike of his hair hanging down  
  
Somewhat on one side of his face and wearing afore mentioned outfit…  
  
Aries Dib: It took you guys long enough!  
  
Surgi: Well you know the routine… I had to get some pepper spray from the express mart back there just in case.  
  
Dib: Surgi! What did I say about making fun of Aries?  
  
Aries: yeah, back off alien scum!!  
  
Zim: Leave my friend alone, human jerk off!!  
  
Dib; Ok, Ok guys! Enough of this… let's go back to the van and find some place to eat at…  
  
Surgi: *giving Aries dib a noogie and making his hair look shaggy and unkempt then rubbing his hand on his shirt* man,how many gallons of gel do you have in your hair anyways?  
  
Aries: THAT'S IT!! *Tackles Surgi to the ground and they wrestle for a little while*  
  
Surgi: *Who is now under Aries Dib at the moment* Awwww, I didn't know you cared!!  
  
and smiles then kisses him and after that knees him in the crotch and gets up 


	2. This Is What happens When Worlds Collide

This Is What Happens When Worlds Collide  
  
Finally after much fighting the foursome arrives at Zim's house…  
  
Aries: Interesting place… I can't wait to see it explode!!  
  
Zim: *warningly* If you try anything I'll dissect you with a chainsaw, Aries!!!  
  
Aries: uh huh… *Walks off to look around*  
  
Surgi: Don't worry master Zim… I'll watch over him… heheheh *laughs like Murdoc from Gorrilaz*  
  
Dib: I'm going to go take a hot bath… I'm exhausted! *walks off to the bathroom*  
  
In The Lab…  
  
Surgi: *watching Aries Dib from behind a corner* Ahhh, the thrill of the hunt!  
  
*Grabs a bolt tazer from his belt and shoots Aries Dib*  
  
Aries: *turning around* I swear I'm going to kill you Surgi!! *Chases Surgi*  
  
Surgi: *knowing acrobatics from an early age does a back flip over Aries Dib  
  
And somersaults twice then holds a predator stance* Not if I kill you first, young one…  
  
Aries: Oh I get it now… You're insane!! Just another reason to destroy you!  
  
*Removes a shrapnel gun from his trench coat* Well, I'm up for that!!!!!  
  
Surgi: *smiles sadistically* You're right! I'm insane… just as insane as people let me be, and that's too much for you! *Throws a ninja blade at Aries Dib which turns his cool pants into short shorts* Ahahaheheheh…nice look for you… too bad you have such girly  
  
Legs!!  
  
Aries: You ruined my pleather pants!! *Goes into battle stance and fires his shrapnel gun at Surgi*  
  
Surgi: *jumping and doing the splits in midair as the shrapnel flies past then lands in a crouching position** Ooooh, and I bet  
  
You're thinking how you ruined your ten bucks on them too!!  
  
Dib: *unsheathing a dagger* you shall suffer alien! *Lunges at Surgi*  
  
Surgi: *ducking to the side and grabbing Aries Dib's Wrist causing him to release his knife then shaking a finger at him and removing a black metal ball from his pocket  
  
Which release Spider legs and wraps around Aries Dib then releases six spikes and tacks him to the wall within seconds* Now…What shall I do with you Aries? *takes his knife and slaps his face with the side of the blade then presses a button and a large machine  
  
Lowers from the ceiling* This is one of my creations… Simulation device 9000.  
  
SD9000 activate. *The machine turns itself on and the screen on the side beeps "Input Data" and Surgi types in commands "Set to Dib Target Simulation 5 BDSM command level 20" * Hope you enjoy you date! *And smiles as Dib's eyes widen then takes the elevator out of the lab*  
  
2nd chapter up…. Tell me what you think cause I NEEEEDDDD TOOOO KNNNNOOOWWW!!!! 


	3. Lemony Fresh Enlightenment

Lemon Scented Enlightenment   
  
Surgi: *emerging from the elevator* Hey peoples... *gets a Pepsi and goes to watch tv with Gir*   
  
Dib: Ummm... Where's Aries Dib? *raises a brow*   
  
Surgi: I don't know... I think he crawled behind some machine and died....  
  
Dib: Really?! What did you to him?? Tell me this instant!!  
  
Surgi: Or maybe that was Jules my pet tarauntula....  
  
Zim: *walking in from the kitchen* Supper is ready!!! *looks at Dib who is staring angrily at Surgi... What's going on.... Tellll meeeeee....!  
  
Dib: He did something to my cousin!!  
  
Surgi: Nah, he's just enjoying the lab equipment...  
  
At this time Aries Dib emerges from the trash can portal looking dishevelled and enraged...  
  
Dib: *looking over at his cousin* Man, what happened?  
  
Aries Dib: Surgi decided to play a trick on me with some BDSM machine... Now, I'm going to kill him!!!   
  
Dib: Count me in as well!!  
  
Surgi: *watching them approach him and grabs Gir holding him up* Don't come any closer!!! He has rabies and if you do I'll make him bite you!!  
  
Gir: Buuurrrrrpppp!!! scuse me.. heheheh....  
  
Surgi: You just had to eat those cup cakes, didn't you? *puts him down*  
  
Zim: If you two bother him YOU SHALL SUFFER MY WRATH!!!  
  
Aries Dib: Hey couz.. could you do something about him? maybe hold him down?  
  
Dib: Yeah.... *goes over to Zim and grabs him; holding him back*  
  
Surgi:*meekly* Does this mean no late night yaoi tv party?  
  
Aries Dib: Yes, and you will pay!!! * tackles him then grabs a rope and ties him up*  
  
Zim: Let me go Dib or I shall give you such a thrashing!!!  
  
Dib: Fine... Aries Dib probably has Surgi taken care of anyhow!!  
  
Aries Dib: no not yet... I'm taking him to the basement and I wish for you two to come as well.   
  
Surgi: Grrr I don't like you Aries Dib!! *flattens his antennae at him and bares his teeth*  
  
Aries Dib: Don't you dare look at me like that, you Alien scum!!   
  
Surgi whimpers at this remark...  
  
Once inside the basement....  
  
Aries Dib straps Surgi to a table with many devices overhead...  
  
Aries Dib: Now you're gonna learn to respect us humans, alien!!  
  
Zim: *which has decided to join up Dib and his cousin Looks at Surgi curiously*  
  
Dib: First, we're going to embarrass him world wide!! *goes to hook up the international  
television link to the main camera which is focused on Surgi from an odd angle*   
  
Aries Dib: *noticing the on air signal and flipping it* Now my fellow human beings we are going to give you proof of how you can tell an alien from a human!!  
  
Dib: *Stepping up and whispering to Aries Dib while the camera zooms in on their faces*  
How are you going to do that?  
  
Aries Dib: just watch..*making his voice louder* As the theory goes.. Aliens have no  
genitalia.... *approaches Surgi who screams like a girl then looks up at the camera and smiles* Enough of your nonsense alien! Zim! get over here!!  
  
Zim walks over to aide Aries Dib to aide him...  
  
Aries Dib: And now my lovely assistant-  
  
Zim: *Glaring at him* Watch it earthling!!  
  
Aries Dib: *returning the glare at Zim* As I was saying my assistant will now remove the alien's pants.  
  
Zim: *smiling* Hey! I get the good part!! *unbuckles Surgi's belt and Surgi growls at him* Whoa! down fellah! *surgi smiles weakly and Zim pats his head* Good boy!!  
*and removes his pants revealing orange sunkist boxers*  
  
Dib: huh??  
  
Aries Dib: Where on earth did he get those boxers??   
  
Surgi: if you must know I got them from Sunkist.com!!! I do so love my sunkist!!  
  
Dib: He's SO brainwashed.  
  
Aries Dib: Now Zim. Remove his boxers!!  
  
Zim: *yanks down Surgi's boxers and surgi's hard 7 inch member is revealed before all the earth*  
  
*New York City: a huge television screen above MTV studios shows Surgi on screen in his predicament and a mob of girls gather around screaming and cheering*  
  
*Tokyo Japan: a large tv screen that is showing a Joy of Cola commercial suddenly fizzes  
and shows Surgi in the same predicament*  
  
Japanese teenage girl: Ooooh... Sexy green guy!!!  
  
Aries Dib: What the hell?? This goes against all of man's theories!!  
*orders for surgi to be freed and Surgi grabs his boxers and covers himself up*   
  
Zim: *Walking over and hitting the off air button* I guess Surgi proved you wrong, eh Aries?  
  
Aries Dib: Yeah whatever... *rolls his eyes* 


End file.
